I decided to audit the games industry’s presence on Twitter. I used Twitter Audit to determine these stats. Some of the numbers might not add up all the way through, because I had to spread the data collection over separate days to avoid an API overload. Fake doesn’t mean bought either, just a non-valid Twitter user, whether that is fake or inactive is not up to me. Enjoy the results.

We’ve been desensitized to violence.

Or, at least, that’s what is said constantly, repeated again and again.

It doesn’t really matter what it’s in relation to, whether videogames, films, or books; it’s always something.

It’s always a statement that bothered me. Not because I don’t think it’s not a true statement, but rather, it’s a statement without context.

I believe that we have been desensitized to violence, but specifically in regards to the mediums that were used to oversaturate us with violence in the first place.

I’ve shot and brutally murdered so many in-game characters that it doesn’t really bother me anymore. Violence in games doesn’t shock me anymore. I don’t feel remorse and I certainly don’t apply any emotions to my violent actions.

I’ve seen so many people killed and murdered in films that it doesn’t really bother me anymore.

That sense of complacency toward something so crippling doesn’t translate to real-life.

In the wake of this week’s events in Boston, this has become all the more evident to me.

Simply hearing the news felt like I had been punched in the gut. I was filled with sadness. At this point, I didn’t even know the extent of the damage to those injured, but as soon as I saw an image of one of the victims, I became physically sick.

The feeling I had after seeing it –a leg blown apart and pulled open as if it was a wrapper on a candy bar, bone and innards sprawled about, barely clinging on as the woman screamed in pain looking for someone to save her– was something that I hadn’t ever experienced before.

It made me ill and still does.

It hasn’t left me. I see it when I close my eyes and sometimes when they’re open. It’s there, like that dot when you stare at a light for too long. There’s nothing I can do.

I certainly wasn’t desensitized to this violence. Hearing details was bad enough, but now that I’ve seen the devastating effects of this kind of real-world violence, it’ll never leave me.

No amount of digital violence could have prepared me for this, though I wish it would have. I wish that I would have been able to see this and feel compassion without the need for the pain and sickness that I can’t help but think about every time it flashes in my mind.

I feel weak for having these emotions. I feel like I don’t have the right to be crying when I think about it. Nothing happened to me, why should I be crying? I didn’t lose someone I loved.

3000 miles away and it didn’t really affect me in a meaningful way.

I feel as though I don’t have a right to be feeling this sadness.

And I probably don’t.

But I do. I feel sadness for the families that lost someone. I feel sadness for those who lost someone partially, even as I try to battle through that with the joy that it wasn’t more so. I feel sadness for those who don’t feel safe and who feel like they need to be scared of something, because that’s not the way they should have to life their live.

I only wish that I had been desensitized.

*This has some spoilers all the way to the end of the game, so don’t read if you haven’t finished it yet.*

If you’re anything like me, you probably played through Telltale’s The Walking Dead and enjoyed the impact that player choice had on the story. As you made each decision, whether trivial or dire, that constant notification at the top reminded you that someone would remember and that it could come back to haunt you later.

I wanted to post my favorite games of the year, as well as a few other random favorites, along with a little reasoning behind why they were my favorites. It’s always somewhat difficult to narrow down my ten favorite games of the year, let alone put them in order, but these ten were games that stood out to me right away when looking at the list of games I have played this year.

Earlier this evening we learned that seven US Navy SEALs from SEAL Team Six received disciplinary letters stating that they “were being charged with violation of Article 92: Orders violation, misuse of command gear and violation of Article 92: Dereliction of duty, disclosure of classified material” for their involvement with the development of Medal of Honor: Warfighter, according to a statement released to Polygon by the U.S. Department of Defense.